I am sorry. I really am. If I were a better friend, I could at the very least prevent this from ever happening.

When did we stop being sisters? I bet you thought of me as one. Only me. Too detached. A fool who cannot separate what's important and what's not. I am sorry I put so many people first before you. I do not know what is important to me anymore. I feel really alone this days. I cannot make myself to create a long conversations with anyone. I do not feel like it.

I am really sorry to you and her.

She stills believe in me, and I am trying to ... return what I owe her. and be a friend for once.

I am always listening to her but no help at all. All I do is wait at the side, listen in silent. Good-for-nothing.

Giving encouraging words which I myself do not tell myself.

Such a hypocrite. All of these is my fault. But I cannot say it to everyone else because they are blaming themselves as well. No one blames me. Too much comfort in life. Making me feel even worse.

If I could be a friend, no one would have to suffer. If I am a robot who can be programmed, I could actually be a friend. 

But, I'm only one person. I am sorry.